I once heard someone say that the difference between tolerance and respect is that tolerance is putting up with something you don't like, while respect is seeing value in something even if it differs from what you prefer.
I bring this up because the new focus feature this week is ksanti paramita, sometimes translated "perfection of tolerance." And it was interesting to me that the word "tolerance" first brought to mind the value of accepting diversity, or not discriminating against people who are "different." But that kind of "tolerance" isn't mentioned in any of the commentaries.
Instead, tolerance in this case means something like "endurance," as in "petunias can tolerate a variety of soil conditions." Or. if you are human, you are called to tolerate hardship and misfortune when it comes.
Still, the word tolerance bothers me. It connotes just putting up with something. I know what I do when I put up with things -- I close my emotional drawbridge, so to speak. I ignore it, or try to distract myself with something else, or otherwise grit my teeth until the whatever-it-is goes away. This is not skillful.
Instead, perhaps it's more helpful to think in terms of respecting hardship. Acknowledge it and accept it as your path. Perhaps the experience will show you a beneficial course correction. Don't just plop down and try to wait it out.
When you're going through a rough patch, people will tell you to "stay positive." That's not bad advice, but I think we have to be careful about how we do that. If we "stay positive" by imagining that some unlikely stroke of luck will save us, that's not accepting or respecting.
In his book The Six Perfections: Buddhism and the Cultivation of Character, Dale S. Wright says,
"Geshe Sonam Rinchen asks us to 'regard suffering as happiness,' that is, to see in every moment of life, especially the most vivid, an opportunity to awaken from our own patterns of self-deception and avoidance. As he puts it, 'Seeing hardships as an adornment is to see them as an opportunity and an asset. If you begin by willingly accepting minor hardships, your capacity will gradually increase. ... It is possible to regard suffering as happiness. If we willingly accept difficulties, each hardship we face will simply increase our courage.'"
You might remember that courage is an aspect of virya paramita, also. The two paramitas have quite a lot in common, which I plan to explore this week.
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