Lewis Richmond has an essay at Huffington Post about a couple of topics dear to my heart. One topic is the growing inclusion of women as equals in Buddhism, and the other is that "'right speech' is often wrongly interpreted to mean never saying anything critical or difficult."
If you're a regular here you've probably noticed I'm not exactly conflict averse where discussion of dharma is concerned. I dearly love a good argument, as long as it stays on topic and doesn't devolve into personal insults. Having to defend one's understanding can be a great learning tool.
Often a commenter will seem upset that people are disagreeing at all. Apparently some think that we're all supposed to just respect everyone else's opinions about teachings and avoid all conflict. But vigorous debate is part of Buddhist tradition.
In many monastic traditions monks and nuns take part in intense debates. Challenging the understanding of another monastic, preferably a senior one, is encouraged. In the Zen tradition "dharma combat" has become somewhat ritualized, but Zen history records many such challenges that got physical as well -- grabbing, shoving, punching, the occasional broken bone.
I'm not saying we should replicate that (especially since I would lose), but it's important to understand that disagreement is OK.
Lewis Richmond writes that people who seek out Buddhism in the West are looking for a refuge from emotional strife. He writes, "As one prominent Buddhist leader has said, '80 percent of meditators at Buddhist centers have a background of trauma and abuse, and the other 20 percent are lying.'" He continues,
"As a consequence of this, however, Western Buddhists are often conflict averse and averse to expressing negative thoughts and feelings. This can give Buddhist communities an unreal patina of peace and harmony, masking a deeper current of resentment, anger and frustration."
It's also the case that one comes to Buddhism to learn something. Central to that learning process is challenging our current views and assumptions. If you're looking for a tradition in which no one will ever tell you that your present understanding is out of whack, Buddhism ain't it.
In thinking about this topic, the poem "Heaven-Haven: A Nun Takes the Veil" by Gerard Manley Hopkins, written in 1864, keeps popping into my head. Here it is:
I have desired to go
Where springs not fail,
To fields where flies no sharp and sided hail
And a few lilies blow.
And I have asked to be
Where no storms come,
Where the green swell is in the havens dumb,
And out of the swing of the sea.
This is a poem about escape. But there is no escape. We may all wish to be someplace where there is no "sharp and sided hail," but the fact is that we take the hail with us, wherever we go. There's no running away from it. And monastic communities can be just as conflict-ridden as families, schools, and workplaces. Ultimately there is no alternative to getting to the root of where the hail is coming from, and liberating yourself from it.
Unrealistically, some of us go to dharma centers thinking that everyone else there will have his or her act together and will be devoted to being compassionate to us. But the fact is that everyone else is there for the same reason we are -- dukkha, suffering. And you don't deal with dukkha by pretending it's not there.
No comments:
Post a Comment