This is following up the last post, which is on end-of-life decisions. The comments have been wonderfully thoughtful and underscore the fact that these can be very difficult decisions.
Human civilization really has sailed into uncharted waters here, and lists of rules from the Iron Age are little help. Instead, we are challenged to look deeply into each situation and be guided by compassion, not by clinging or commandments.
I think most people know this, on some level. Some religious institutions are not keeping up, however, as we saw in the Terri Schiavo episode. People whose entire understanding of morality is centered on following a list of external rules can't deal with situations that don't fit the rules.
Several ministers, mostly evangelicals, told television audiences that Ms. Schiavo was alert and responsive and didn't want to die, none of which was true. Did they themselves realize they were lying (and breaking a commandment), or were they seeing only what they wanted to see? I cannot say. Probably some of both.
Religions that stress shoulds and should nots may be stressed to the breaking point in these new, uncharted waters. Sometimes, there are no shoulds. But saying there are no shoulds isn't the same as saying there are no standards, so do whatever feels good.
In the Kalama Sutta, the Buddha didn't just say that we should decide for ourselves what is true (Thanissaro Bhikkhu translation):.
"Of course you are uncertain, Kalamas. Of course you are in doubt. When there are reasons for doubt, uncertainty is born. So in this case, Kalamas, don't go by reports, by legends, by traditions, by scripture, by logical conjecture, by inference, by analogies, by agreement through pondering views, by probability, or by the thought, 'This contemplative is our teacher.' When you know for yourselves that, 'These qualities are unskillful; these qualities are blameworthy; these qualities are criticized by the wise; these qualities, when adopted and carried out, lead to harm & to suffering' -- then you should abandon them."
By the same token, "When you know for yourselves that, 'These qualities are skillful; these qualities are blameless; these qualities are praised by the wise; these qualities, when adopted & carried out, lead to welfare and to happiness' -- then you should enter & remain in them."
There is karma, of course, and the influence of the three poisons to consider. It's not easy. But sometimes there are no shoulds.
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